How bad it Hurt
by Yuuki Sakurai
Summary: One shot. Kaoru and Hikaru are a couple. But when they get into a fight and Kaoru goes off on his own,he runs into trouble. Note: Gay bashing. Please don't read it touches a spot


_**How Bad It Hurt**_

I wish I could describe to you how bad it hurt when they attacked me. When they threw me to the ground and punched me and kicked me and called me names I never want to hear again. Never hear uttered from anyone's lips because they scratched at my heart each time they were shouted. I think the words hurt worse than the punches. Maybe even worse than the knife.

But I'm just confusing you, aren't I? I'm just rambling on about something you don't even understand. So maybe I should start from the beginning. Maybe then it'll make sense.

I knew about my feelings for him for awhile. It was actually me that had confessed first. And he was the one that acted so blind, but knew deep, deep down, that he liked me too. That we were entwined by fate. That being born together wasn't coincidental. We were meant to be together, never separated.

So our brotherly love developed into romance. Into a committed relationship. He brought me flowers. I made him dinner. He had bad days. I calmed him down. He gave great sex. I accepted great sex. But none of that mattered. What did matter was the way he made me feel in the morning, when I'd wake up and feel a little cold, and he'd draw me closer to him to heat me up. Or when I'd get all flustered over something he'd resolve the problem without hesitation. Or the way his world revolved around me, how he always made time in his day to make sure I was smiling.

Sometimes we'd fight. And he'd say bad things and make me cry. Or I'll storm out of the room because I just can't handle how stupid he's acting at the moment. But we'd always makeup. He'd say something to make me smile again. Or he'd apologize with a gift. Or sex. Great sex, though. And I'd always take him back. Because I loved him. I loved him more than anything. More than money, or friends, or even myself. So maybe it's not love anymore. Maybe it's something far beyond love. Something words can't explain or cover or define. But I know I'd die for him. Give my last breath away for him. That's how far deep I am.

Well earlier today we had gotten into a terrible fight. He said he went looking through my cell phone, can you believe the nerve? He said that he saw I started calling Tamaki again. I didn't deny it. He asked what we talked about. I didn't lie. I told him; life, work (or lack of), families and sometimes you. He didn't believe me. Told me he didn't like me calling Tamaki when he wasn't around. I told him he was being paranoid and a bit too overdramatic. Tamaki and I were old friends. He said that he didn't want me calling Tamaki again. I said that that was too bad, because I wasn't going to stop calling my friend because he was being stupid. The fire flamed. He accused me of cheating, of lying, of going behind his back. I don't remember all the words I yelled at him, all the hatred that poured from my mouth. But all I remember is when we were both heaving from lack of air; I grabbed my jacket and went for a ride.

He tried calling. Reject. Again. Reject. Third time. Turn off phone. I sighed. Why did he have to be so stupid? Can't he see that I would never dare cheat on him? I'd never set my eyes on another man? Because all I wanted was him. Was he that blind? Or, did I not love him enough so that he knew that the only person I cared about was him? Or, maybe I am the stupid one. Is this really worth fighting over? Because I wanted to catch up with an old friend? Who did I care about the most, Hikaru or Tamaki? I chucked my phone out of the window. Wasn't the answer obvious?

I guess it's way past my turn to makeup to Hikaru. To apologize for my own actions. For some reason, I feel a bit ticked off that I'm the one apologizing, though I know it's the right thing to do. And I really don't understand why I'm so mad, it's like I have a machoistic ego. Yet, I'm still a bit peeved when I get into the store. It's already dark out; I better hurry and get home.

"I'm sorry sir, but we're closed for the night."

I didn't come all this way to walk out with nothing, "Please, sir, it's for my boyfriend."

He looked at me for a good while. Please don't tell me he's a homophobe. I've already had all the yelling I can take for the day. But he pulls out this real big bouquet of roses, nicely wrapped with a bow. I was about to take it when he put it in a box and sealed it.

"I want it to stay fresh and preserved." He said. I smiled. So there are still nice people out there in the world.

I left the store a very happy customer; I paid the man much more than needed. It wasn't that he asked for it. He just deserved it for brightening my day. It's thanks to him I get to go home to my love with a handful of roses and a smile on my face. I wonder if that's where Hikaru get's my roses?

I'm almost to my car when I hear someone shout something. I turned around, wondering if they were trying to get my attention, and regretted doing so. I was surrounded. Four or five other men were standing around me, all dressed in black, but I could still make out the evil grins on their face.

I stepped back and they were on me for a split second. I was pushed to the ground, losing the box of roses as they fell from my grasp. They kicked me and punched me. I couldn't feel any part of my body anymore. I was just numb. I waited for them to go away.

I should've ran.

Because once everyone had their fill of hate, something pierced my side. I screamed in pain, this feeling wasn't normal. And they began to run. They just left me. Left me to wither in agony. I tried to find what had been left inside of me, my hand grasping a blade. They stabbed me. And then they began shouting, loud enough for me to hear;

"Faggot!"

"Queer!"

Oh, I see. They didn't attack me for money or revenge. They attacked me because of who I loved, and who I slept with. I'm sweating because it's so cold; wait, that doesn't make any sense. I watch the blood creep down the concrete, all the way down to where the rose petals were scattered. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the last thing I said to Hikaru. When we had been fighting. Tried to remember the last thing he'd ever hear me say before I slammed the door behind me.

"I hate you!"

Darkness.


End file.
